Are You There, God? It’s – No, Wait, That’s My Cat

rapture
Note: Every image on a google search for ‘rapture’ is ridiculous.

 

 

It was dark – or as dark as it ever gets in the lofted bedroom of my apartment. There were no stars twinkling through the skylight above my bed, the sun had set hours before, and all my lights were off. I was slumbering ever-so-gently under the covers, happily dreaming of car chases which featured batman and (for some reason) my second-favorite cousin.

I twisted in my sleep, still very tired and mostly unconscious, unaware of the looming danger.

Then… light.

Light everywhere.

My eyelids opened and my eyes were instantly blinded by the shimmering room. I’m a good Christian girl; I go to church every Sunday (except when I sleep in), and I say my prayers. So my first thought was is this you, God? Is it… time?!

My second thought was wow Jesus. You’re really fluorescent.

Somewhere between my second and third thought, I realized I was still very much within my earthly coil, and the skylight above my head was still pitch-black. No angels, no choir, no gleaming Son of God.

Oh Jesus, if it isn’t you… someone’s in my apartment. And they turned on the light! Why would they do that, Jesus?

Then, in a stroke of divine inspiration, I thought of looking at the light switch. No shadowy figure stood over it, no hand rested on the wall. It was… just there.

No… wait…

There was a black dot. A tiny black dot. And it was moving.

What I witnessed next still haunts me to this day.

A bug scurried across the vast expanse of my light switch. It had purpose, determination. It crossed that switch like it was climbing Everest. Fearless. Purposeful.

Until a monster reached up from beneath. A claw, a grotesque hand covered in hair, a…. paw rose from the depths of my apartment floor. It grasped, caught the switch.

And the world went dark again.

When I crept over to the switch, hands trembling, and flicked it on again. The bug was gone.

At my feet, my cat looked up at me with eyes black as night and murmured a single sound.

Meow.

20151117_192554
Behold: The face of terror.

Next Week On Was That The Rapture Or Is My Cat Just Being Obnoxious, check in as Bethany nearly has a heart attack when, in the depths of night (again) a strange crashing sound echoes through her silent apartment. Was it the glass she left on the nightstand? The blender perched atop her refrigerator? The TV? Tune in next week to find out!

 

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